my life feels weird

i am out of control

i feel sleepy

i can’t go to sleep

i am missing out

i want to die

melancholy

i am really good at talking the talk

but i am bad at walking the walk

i am interested in melancholy

i can’t do homework because i’m too confused and tired

i can’t let a relationship grow because i’m too tired

i like it when a female spends time alone with a male

i like watching movies and walking with pretty girls

i like spending 4- 6 hours alone in a room with a pretty girl

i don’t like ugly girls

am i a bad person

i don’t have a word

obama is depressed

tina fey is depressed

osama bin laden is depressed

tom cruise is depressed

the president of india is depressed

the mexican from saved by the bell is depressed

asian girls are depressed

rachel bilson is depressed

blake lively is depressed

people who work at the mall are depressed

pakistani americans are depressed

gwen stefani is depressed

tiger woods is depressed

glen beck is depressed

the drummer from the arctic monekys is depressed

the jonas brothers are depressed

fat joe is depressed

the king of spain is depressed

mark the cobrasnake is depressed

jay leno is depressed

the cast of the office is depressed

all people who work at sprint are depressed

anybody who lives in new york city is depressed

anybody who lives in south dakota are depressed

all mexicans are depressed

korean americans are depressed

robert de niro is depressed

your mother is depressed

the indian guy from harold and kumar is depressed

the naked asian from the hangover is depressed

wes anderson is depressed

the president of argentina is depressed

fans of taylor swift are depressed

why do i feel depressed

i feel depressed

spring is coming

i hate people with problems

i don’t care

about anything

i am a robot

i have no feelings

i like to dance in a robot manner

cognitive and motivational symptoms ( a poem about a mouse)

there is a mouse named hitler

hitler is a student at nyu

some students don’t like it when hitler tries to talk to them

hitler thinks they refuse to talk to him because he is a mouse

the students don’t like to talk to him because his name is hitler

hitler smiles and tries to say hello to some students

but than he puts his head down and mumbles ‘ herro…..mhhh’

hitler keeps looking at the ground and says nothing

hitler has a large mouse head on a human body

his parents named him hitler because they hated his mouse head

eye strains

sometimes i want to squeeze my eyes shut so hard

that they pop and they turn into jelly

i will be sad

i will be sad because nobody will care

VERBAL ABUSE IS FUNNY

HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE

ALL MY PROBLEMS FROM CHILDHOOD HAVE COME BACK

‘ HEHE’

I WANT TO BE A DJ AT A HOUSE A HOUSE PARTY

I WANT PEOPLE TO BE LIKE ‘ DAMN HE HAS PRETTY GOOD TASTE ‘

I WANT TO EAT A PORK SANDWICH AND NOT FEEL LIKE A ‘ FAT BOI ‘

I WISH MY MOTHER GAVE ME ‘ POSITIVE REINFORCEMENT ‘

SOMETIMES

I FEEL GREAT ALL THE TIME

BECAUSE I SMOKE COCAINE ALL THE TIME

I DON’T REALLY SMOKE COCAINE

IT’S 5 AM

I FEEL LIKE A FUCKING ‘ COKE HEAD ‘

I SHOULD MAKE SOME ‘ VEGAN PANCAKES ‘

‘ LIL CUNTS’

‘ LIL CUNT’

I BROKE INTO A CAR

I DID NOT STEAL IT

I JUST SAT IN THE CAR

I PLAYED ‘ LA ROUX’ ON THE CD PLAYER

I LISTENED TO THE SONG

‘ I’M NOT YOUR TOY’

I CRIED FOR 3 HOURS STRAIGHT

I THOUGHT IN MY HEAD ‘ LIL CUNT ‘

‘ LIL CUNT’

‘ LIL RICH CUNT’

‘ LIL CUNTS’

find a cure for my life

Jean lived in Los Angeles for two years. Jean attended UCLA. Jean is from Quebec, Canada. Jean lived in nothing but small towns in Quebec. Jean did not want to join his brothers in the logging industry. Jean hated the cold. Jean hated living a blue collar life. Jean spoke broken english. Jean pretended he was from Colorado or Kansas. Nobody believed him. People thought Jean was from France. Jean failed all his classes. Jean had a job working at a subway in Santa Monica. Jean made friends with the Santa Monica kids. Jean would get drunk on the beach with those Santa Monica.
Jean had a girlfriend named Sofia. Jean was going to marry her and get an apartment in Westwood. Jean told his plans to her. Sofia laughed and said I have a boyfriend already. Sofia said it was fun kid but your a joke. Jean became depressed. Jean quit going to work and quit going to class. Jean ran out of money. Jean called his mother in Quebec to buy him a ticket back to Quebec. His mother yelled at him in french. Jean waited in Montreal for his stepfather to pick him up. The town where his mother lived was a 8 hour drive from Montreal.
Jean’s stepfather picked him up. They said nothing during the long drive in through the cold countryside. Jean’s stepfather had some cold pizza in the back seat and asked Jean if he wanted a piece. Jean ate the piece and laughed. When Jean arrived home his mother just smiled and asked if he was hungry. Jean was gone for almost 2 years and just mother just smiled at him. Jean put his suitcase on the floor near a couch that would become his new sleeping space. Jean looked outside and saw nothing but snow and some lonely trees. Jean heard his brothers come home from a long day of logging. Jean pretended to sleep when he heard them come inside the house. Jean’s family ate a dinner of pizza, while Jean pretended to sleep. Jean cried a little under his blanket when he thought about Sofia.
Jean lived at his mother’s house for three months with out going to work or school. Spring was approaching. Jean would take walks near a field behind his mother’s house. Jean saw a red haired girl sitting alone on a rock. The girl was not that pretty, but she was not ugly. Jean had a bottle of rum in his hand and asked her if she wanted some, because Jean was lonely. The girl looked at him with a confused look on her face and than said I don’t speak french. Jean smiled and asked her if she was American. She said she was not American. She said she was from Vancouver. Jean did not ask what she was doing in a small town in quebec that’s 8 hours from Montreal. He just gave her the bottle of rum. She drank some and she started to kiss Jean. Kate grabbed Jean’s hand and walked him to a large country house. Inside the house on a twin size bed they made love.
It had been 11 months since he heard from Kate. Jean moved to Florida and worked at his uncle’s store in South Florida.
Jean got a call from his mother one morning. She said do you remember Kate from Vancouver? Jean was confused because after they made love he never saw her again. Jean never told anybody about Kate. Jean’s mother told him that he got her pregnant and Kate killed her self three days ago. Jean had an intense feeling of confusion and shock. Jean asked about the baby. Jean always dreamed of being a dad someday. Jean’s mother said that’s the thing I have to tell you, Kate killed the baby too, she named him Riley.Jean’s mother said that Kate’s parents wanted Jean to attend the baby’s funeral in British Columbia. Jean hung up the phone and tried to cry. Jean repeated the name Riley 194 times. Jean walked into the ocean saying nothing. Jean did not want to die, but he felt like dying.

life bro

i have nothing to say

i always felt like if stuff happened in my life

i would become more ‘ aware ‘

i feel like if i won the lottery

and i married camilla belle

and i had a huge house with tv’s and giant imported greek curtains

i would still feel numb on the inside

if i worked at papa johns and lived alone in a mobile home with no girlfriend

i would still feel numb

that is why i can have money and spend it so fast

i want to jump up and start break dancing on my floor

i also want to somehow simultaneously become alive and break my neck at the same time

i made out with a girl last night and i liked hearing people say , those people are making out more than actually making out

thinking about you not thinking about me

an alien appeared in my room

he said he wanted to be human

he told me that he has a pill that will make him a human

the pill was pink with a human head on it

i told him being human is not the greatest thing in the universe

i am a human and i feel constantly lonely

sometimes the ‘ loneliness ‘ is not as bad when you talk to family or friends

but you still feel lonely and empty

the only time ‘ loneliness’ becomes almost non existent , is when you like somebody, like as a love interest

but finding somebody to stick with you is hard

you will find a girl, she will smile around you, you will hold her hand, you will even kiss

your heart will beat faster around her

when you say goodbye to her, she gives you a tight squeeze

you think in your head, she will become close to me

i will not die alone anymore

you go to bed thinking about her

you will wake up alone, you will never see her again

the feeling of loneliness is back

the feeling of being unwanted comes back even stronger

the alien did not make any facial expressions

he just stood near my window with his giant neon pink body

i told him humans do ‘ unproductive ‘ things like get depressed

people do dumb things like love people who don’t love them back

the alien told me , how do you convince somebody to care about you

i told him , you can’t convince somebody to love you

they have to decide that on their own

i told him it’s like being in the ocean with no floating device

and when you see somebody in a boat holding a lifesaver

you’re supposed to act like you don’t care about the lifesaver

if you get happy because you know the lifesaver will take you out of the cold and empty ocean

the person will not throw the lifesaver anymore

you have to keep your feelings inside

the only way to get out of the ocean is to be indifferent, because the person on the boat has low esteem and wants to convince you that she is worthy enough for a person with such high self esteem that he does not even care about ‘ dying alone ‘

the alien said that is depressing

he said why can’t people just be themselves

i told him humans are selfish creatures
and everything they do is in their own self interest

because when they are alone the only person they have to talk to is themselves, and they want to make that person ‘ happy ‘

that person inside is ‘ unhappy ‘ but it feels ‘ happy ‘ when it’s around people you like

but you can’t convince other people’s inside person to like your inside person back

the alien said he still wanted to be human maybe

he took the pill

he started to cry

i started to cry