my mom always talked about suicide and death
when i was 8 she told me to go outside because she is going to run the gas oven
she told me that i should call my grandma and tell her it’s her fault
i did none of those things and opened the windows and cried my self to sleep
i [...]
i read after dark by haruki murakami
i read the whole book in two days
feels like i should ”become somebody”
i get dressed in the morning feeling like ” i matter ”
maybe i should ‘ just die ‘ ’ soon’
i was eating lunch with somebody , felt like i talked to much
i should just jump off a [...]
i have blood on my cardigan
i found a some cash
seems ” sweet ”
not sure if i fit in anywhere
i feel ” superior ”
i feel ” superior” to people who are overweight
i feel ” superior ” to boring and uncultured people
i feel bored all the time
if i get bored , i get sad
i bought a burrito with no meat, seems good
i think a burrito with no meat is healthy
life is stupid
know matter what happens to me in life , i will be sad and bored
if i had fun, i will still feel sad
if i got married, i will still feel sad
if i won the lottery, i would [...]
i honestly feel self-important or something
oh wait, i don’t know, nevermind
earlier today i put some black tea bags under my eyes
i layed down in the dark and listened to bob dylan for like two hours
i thought ” nothing matters”
i was running outside and saw a group of fat people eating
i felt ” fucking stupid ”
my room [...]
i watched a korean movie about a blind girl and her boyfriend
after the movie , i felt sad or something
i saw an older married couple fighting
the old woman said, i don’t care about your feelings
the old man said, i would leave you but i’m too afraid
yesterday i made a list of goals
today, i don’t want [...]
last night i curled into a fetal position on my bed in the dark
i thought about how my life would be if i grew up in germany
it would probably be the same, but i would understand german
i did 300 jumping jacks and ate a cherry pop tart
who is paul theroux
i seen one of his books [...]
feel like people are ignoring me
just want to spend money on clothes
just want clothes
i ate some soup , it had 400 calories
feel like i have to run off the calories later
people with chin goatees are creepy
i read a whole john grisham novel today
he is so cheesy, but i felt like reading it
does anybody care about [...]
some people type 1,000 words or something in their blog posts
it’s all internet pollution
fuck writing about freinds
fuck friends
fuck being decent towards other human beings
i am going to order a pizza , when the pizza man rings my bell
i will open the door and throw the pizza on the floor
i will insult him and make him [...]
things i think about
i spent the warm days mostly inside this summer
summer is good, maybe next year i will enjoy it
kinda happy fall is coming, i can wear cardigans and leather jackets
i might dye my hair, not sure
i sometimes think about depression
not really sad today
feel grown up or something
feel bored about life, but feel entertained [...]
